A Personal Retrospective

2020.05.23


Hey internet friends. Been a long ass while since I’ve blogged anything. Last year was quite a busy ride and hardly have a moment to catch my breath, and that was honestly frickin’ amazing. I miss that beautiful productive chaos!
Now, however, were in this weird moment in time where all we can do it sit with our thoughts and contemplate our existence and meaning and that can be…overwhelming and exhausting.
I don’t want to get philosophical here though, that’s not why THIS blog exists.
But I thought I’d take a moment to pause and reevaluate my personal side projects that I’ve kind of left to the waste side and I need to figure out why that is? The whole reason for why I even started this blog. Hence, the title.
A sort of personal retrospective mission statement for future me to once again look back on and reflect and answer questions like:


Why did I start this blog?
I started it as a digital journal for keeping track of my technical abilities and intentions. Something I can keep track of. It also jots down my mental head space professionally.

However this isn’t working out as effectively as I’d hoped. It works as looking back, but not so much as making progress. The time gaps between each post don’t properly show where I’m at mentally and technically.

Why dont I feel the need to blog as often?
A lot of the times imposter syndrome sets in and I don’t think I’m qualified enough to speak authoritatively on a topic, OR I think a post I’m about to write has been overly done. A combination of the two sets in, and I lose the initial enthusiasm for writing the post.

How are my side project(s) going (see Back From Hiatus)?
1. Conferences - Last year I succeeded in attending several conferences. It was a lot of fun! 100 points to Slytherin! 😀 - BUT for obvious reasons (covid-19 pandemic) attending conferences physically are not in the horizon anymore. But virtual conferences are still happening, and I can attend those virtually.

2. Books - Here is where I didn’t do so hot. I found that I’m a more of a mood reader and can’t force myself to read something in a short amount of time (like a month). - But I will read faster if I know I can discuss the book afterwards. And I can achieve more successfully by either discussing the book on my Youtube channel, or a book club meeting. If you’re curious to know what I’m currently reading feel free to follow me on either goodreads or my book instagram.

3. Blog posts - This whole ost is answering just that. - Actions for improvements are my steps moving forward

4. Youtube Channel Since my Back from Hiatus post I actually managed to post 5 videos. But they weren’t great (see TV). - 2 vlogs - 1 tech demo - 2 random clips

I did learn that I tend to vlog more when I travel. And my tech demo, while good intentioned, needs a bit more explanation/audio.

What's new in general?
THIS is a loaded question. But I’ll answer this based on this year, and I’ll stick to bullet points though since that’s easier.

Career - Work related ... Overall not much really. I’ve gotten into a sort of rhythm at this point. Every project I get to work on with my team I always learn something new which is still fun. And depending on what repository I’ve either forked or created will indicate what I’m focusing on. If your curious on what I’m working on now feel free to follow me on Github.
- Not work related – I’ve … been slacking… hence this post.

Personally - Mentally, in the realm of existence and meaning and the overwhelming fear of pandemic taking my life, I’ve been heavily pondering if what I do in ANY capacity is making a difference on the planet and society. Not to sound grim, but the question of “How am I personally helping society, my race, my gender in all the actions I am taking?” “Am I improving society to the best of my ability with the tools I have at my disposal?
- Obviously there is no quick solution and I can only answer it myself, but mentally, my headspace is there, and I have a direction in which I can answer that last question.

Am I still learning new things?
This is a yes…with a but though. As mentioned above, at work I always get to learn something new, and that is the biggest perk of my job! 😀 But personally I’ve been slacking. I made minor progress in improving my python, but nothing else that’s noteworthy. I don’t solely want to rely on my job to only learn new things. Learning new shit is something I know makes me legit happy, and that also plays a role in why I haven’t written a blog post in a long ass while.

Moving forward Action Items
While writing this post I found some action items I realize I can take moving forward.
I will share my progress starting in May 31st, and every month after that.


< >